The Feeling of Change
Sometimes it's not an act that prompts change, it's that feeling you get that you just get. Call it your conscience, call it a gut feeling, hell call it whatever you want to me it's that feeling. The feeling that your floating out of your body that life no longer seems really or connective that somethings just not the way it should feel. To me it is so important to feel at home with what you do. It should feel right the whole way through you. You should feel safe, comfortable and able to be yourself and yes sometimes even scary ( we've all scared the shit out of ourselves after too many scary shows ) but it should feel right. Sometimes the feeling of the need for change sneaks up on us slowly saying this feels off or imagine that, other times it hits us like a ton of bricks. Either way change happens to all of us.
The signs of change have been floating through me lately. I feel the need and thirst for change I feel like I'm floating through the day to day tasks, but when that feeling of connection hits it's like a high. I feel my energy surge, life seems brighter and I feel better! This energy lifts me inside and out. I feel the confidence I once had all the time, my mood is strong, and I feel like i could take on the world! I feel these hits of emotional highs and haziness have been coming in waves like a good surf swell more and more often because it's time to change! I need to embrace what feels right and good again and not give a single fuck about what people have to say. I've spent years trying to find the ideals I thought would make me happy to feel more lost and confused. I have tried to be blonde and be a cool kid and the loner and the one that just works works works for the man but that's not me. I'm independent and strong willed hell I didn't go to university so that one day I could say "I did this and I did it my way" cause I feel as thou I can. Learning to embrace my dreams and goals can be hard and trying and annoying when you feel as thou you are constantly fighting "The Man" but the liberation of embracing it is amazing! Even the little changes like changing what I want to eat, and finally accepting my hair looks like shit and I should probably change it or at least cut it how I want to feels amazing.
Moral of this randomness is just embrace what feels right, or a couple thing to make you feel better. I may not move mountains but right now I'm tired of being someone else and not feeling like ME! So I'm gonna make some changes most of which I'm unsure and unaware of but either way I'm not gonna hide from what feels right and let's me feel those highs daily. Life should be enjoyed and not a chore so I'm gonna listen to these feelings and do something.